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| Joke: Things Not To Say On A First Date | |||||
| 作者：佚名 文章来源：www.zuowenw.com 点击数： 更新时间：2007-3-30 | |||||
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本文《Joke: Things Not To Say On A First Date》关键词：英语笑话 "This is my apartment, but don't break anything, or you'll have to pay for it." "Here, have a tic-tac. It's on me." (To the waitress) "Could I have your phone number?" "Before we go back to my place, you're not afraid of cockroaches, are you?" "I really had a good time tonight, uh, um, what the hell was your name again?" "Hey, check out the babe sittin' in the corner. Wow, what a body!" "What? Oh, I thought you were paying." "Nice dress. I have one at home just like it." "So my hand slipped, and the knife cut about half an inch into my thumb, and the blood was gushing all over the place, so I went to the emergency room to have it stitched up, but it kept throbbing, and swelling, and, oh, but I see you're eating." "I want to move out, but my mom really needs me. And, who else is gonna make my lunch? And my bed? And clean my room?" "No, I don't have a job. I spend all my time in the basement. I'm building a submarine, when I'm not playing with my inflatable doll." (Looking at her plate) "Are you going to finish that?" "The mother ship will be returning next June. Then I'll be leaving for Neptune. Hey, here's a thought. You should come with me!" "My old girlfriend, Lisa, was so beautiful. She looked kind of like you. I used to bring her here all the time. Do you mind if I call you Lisa?" "Well, I don't go out in public all too often. And I don't like to be touched, so don't touch me. And try not to stare at me. And let me know if anybody else is staring at me." "I'm gonna do it. I bought a gun. I've got bullets. Just wait. My boss'll be yellin' at me, and then, BLAM!" "As soon as I saw you, I knew you'd go out with me. I said to myself, 'There's someone who looks desperate enough.'" "Does this look like ringworm to you?" "Hurry up and eat, because we've got to get home in time for 'Star Trek.'" "No, I'm not really a doctor. I just pretend that I am so I can pick up women." "We don't need a cab. We can walk. It's only eighteen blocks." "Do you like this shirt? Me too. I wear it every day." "I'm not afraid of anything. Except heights. And confinement. And dogs, and cats, and really scary clowns. And the old lady down the street, and..." "Could you drive me to the airport next week? And I'm going to be moving next month, and I could use some help. Also, I've been thinking about painting my garage. Are you any good at painting?" "Have you thought about getting a Thigh-master? What about that Ultra Slim-fast, have you
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